Happy Fall…

September 22nd, 2009 @ 9:54 am

Back again…

So the package arrived in California yesterday. Thus begins the waiting game. As far as i can tell i now have to wait for the receipt saying they received the info. That’s supposed to take ten days – we shall see. As it stands right now the waiting period is 5 months. That brings us to February, which is just a month past when i would be allowed back in anyway. I’m hoping with his preparation that it will go as smoothly as possible.

The topic of still getting married in December has come up, only doing it in Maine. I’m not sure if this is a good idea. If that is done i’m pretty sure it voids the k1 visa application and a different process has to be started. I’ll have to look into it more.

This afternoon i am invited to a birthday party. It’s Rupert’s mothers 68th b-day. No one else was invited… not sure of that. Anyway, we were in last night as ‘family’ and she announced that they are playing the “The Bible Game”. She asked if i wanted to take some cards home and practice. Which honestly was a good idea.. However i’d rather not. I’m waiting until i get there to destroy the religious beliefs of some helpless old lady. (:

bless me father for i have sinned.

September 14th, 2009 @ 10:24 am

Okay, so I am not a God loving creature but it fits.

I had thought that perhaps i would be able to blog more and not keep all my thoughts locked up but i failed, miserably.

Not much has gone on here.
I’ve fallen in love with my niece. It’s amazing watching her progress through each little step – and be able to think back to when she couldnt do that.

I’m struggling with the distance for the first time in all the years i’ve been doing this. In the past there has always been missing and wanting to be there but this time it’s truly different. I’m sure it has something to do with me not having much of a say when i do return but it’s more than that. I’ve never been a person who wanted to marry – the idea seems so odd to me. I come from multiple ‘broken’ homes. I know promises can mean nothing and the fall out is severe. The idea of spending your life with only one person is grand but it doesnt seem to work out that way for most. I’m loyal to my mate to a fault. I think i have proven that time and time again. I always told myself that i wouldnt marry until i was sure this was the person i would spend the rest of my life with.. there would be no step family, no broken home, no single mother, visitation on weekends and holidays. Of all the things i am certain of, of all the trouble that has come up in the last ten years i’m so very certain that this is the person who i am meant to be with. There have been opportunities over the years to explore other avenues and since the day i met him i have had no desire to do so.

I try and play it down like i am not excited about the idea. Really though i am quite thrilled about it. Not on the same level of someone who wants this huge fancy thing. I just long to be able to be in the same place each and every day with the person i love. To get a chance to spend every special moment through out the year with them. To feel like i belong and that i dont have this countdown in my head when it will end.

Without complaining i am so tired of being here, of having no privacy – no escape – no space of my own to spread out.

I keep telling myself that this is good because the day to day events i share with these four people will soon come to an end and i will miss them dearly. Absorb it all and dont be such a sour puss when it comes to spending time with them.