Mixed Bag of Screws…

April 20th, 2007 @ 4:12 pm

So I am back in the great white north or at least that’s what it appeared to be for the last week. I arrived back in Nova Scotia Wednesday the 11th and by Friday the 13th this part of the world seen it’s second snowstorm of that week. Everyone was grumpy about it but me I was thrilled having not really seen a good snowfall this year. I don’t drive or shovel so the snow was a lovely welcome home gift. However it did cut into my sisters coming home for the weekend and that sucked.

The last week and half has been extremely boring and it’s starting to get to me. Just like the last couple years of my life it’s been a boring day to day event. I’m whining cuz I can but I don’t think I can truly express how much I have begun to dislike my current life.

I plan to go my sisters the end of next month and find some kind of gainful employment. Perhaps make some friends and take a course. One can only watch so much TV and clean so many floors before they start to long for something else. I’m at a point now where I am seriously craving something in my life and if I don’t soon do something about it I may end up crazy or the size of a house. I’ve noticed I cant seem to eat enough lately. I’ll polish off something and within thirty minutes I am hungry again – trying to fill the boredom, I guess.

The events of this week hit home, so to speak. I was talking to Jay on the phone Monday when I learned about the shootings on the campus of Virginia Tech. At the time it just seemed to be another school shooting in another area. However by Wednesday night I had learned that the one Canadian killed had taught me French in college. It was a complete shock, I didn’t cry but I cant help but feel like the world lost an incredibly wonderful person. She was always smiling and happy. I have this distinct memory of how much she adored her two children. I hurt for them and her husband. It makes the world seem so much smaller knowing that one of those killed this week had been a small part of my life.

Today is my sisters 26th birthday and it just blows me away how much she has grown and changed from the brat she once was into a beautiful intelligent young woman. Over the last couple weeks with the deaths of eight soldiers from Canada killed in Afghanistan she was struggling to keep her own spirits up. Though talking to her tonight was much better. So happy birthday to my big sister. (:

Back Away

April 7th, 2007 @ 3:55 pm

I think for the most part i am an easy-going mellow person. I dont think i am cranky often. I know things that shouldnt irritate me usually do but i deal.

However, today i am a big ball of crankiness. I have grumbled at the dogs quite a few times this morning. So much that I think Jake knows i mean business and has begun listening to me. When Jay arrived home i was less than friendly though to my credit i told him i was in this mood. If he feels like I was mean to him in any way it’s his own god damn fault. (:

Hopefully i’ll shake this before he wakes up or i could be in trouble.

On a side note i dont think Easter / operation chocolate drop should take place in this house. I have spent the last two weeks eating at least one chocolate bar a day. I always thought this would be a wonderful thing but i am slowly not finding it as appealing as i once did.

yeah, that’s it. Hope the bunny is good to you…

survey crap

April 6th, 2007 @ 2:22 am

001. When was your last kiss? When Jay left for work a few hours ago

002. Do you have a pet? I do - I play step-monster to two beagle-monsters. I share custody with my mother of the kitty Minnie.

003. What are you dreading right now? Returning to Nova Scotia

004. Do you celebrate 4/20? I do considering it’s my sister’s birthday. Though she celebrates it for more than just her birthday. (:

005. Only child? Nope – two sissys..

006. Favorite ice cream? I’m a big fan of mint chocolate chip

007. When was your last doctors visit? January 11th of this year.

008. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? Not usually and especially not last night. I had been up until 4/5am in the morning Monday and Tuesday night watching movies with Jay so I couldn’t sleep. I finally got to sleep around 4am and was up at 8am with the above mentioned step beagles. I struggled to stay awake all day and now it’s late and i am doing this because i cant freaking sleep. So i guess the answer is no I dont normally get a solid 8 hours sleep though i try.

009. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Less than an hour if I shower/ bath that morning. If I am just getting dressed and attempting to make myself pretty usually no more than 15 minutes.

010. “First Loves Are Never Over;” is this true for you? Not at all.

This boggles my mind…

April 5th, 2007 @ 11:28 pm

I dont normally do the embedding of youtube videos but this is worth it. I dont even have words for it. Though for the first time i can understand every word of the song.

Pointless

April 5th, 2007 @ 12:13 am

I’m not very articulate; I have a very hard time expressing myself. I love, I hate, I feel like everyone else I just cant seem to make it come out right. I have opinions on serious matters but I often don’t say much about it as I am afraid it will come out the wrong way. Major and minor things happen in my life but they always seem to get lost in the context.

I am not very expressive with word or action. I’m not really sure why that is but I am sure it ties in with not being articulate. I experience great happiness, sorrow and excitement. I just find it hard to express those feelings physically and for that I am sorry. There have been times in my life when people have deserved to see more of my emotions than I let them. I often wonder if it ties in with being afraid someone will laugh or think I am reacting wrong. I have this terrible fear of looking silly.

I would hope that despite the above flaws in my personality that I have some how managed to let the people who matter know I value them and their efforts. On more than one occasion in my life I have been told I lack enthusiasm. I try and express how important you are to me and that I am grateful for the actions. It’s sad thinking that people aren’t getting the credit, love or respect that I so deeply feel but cant express.

I suppose this is why I am not a fantastic blogger. I cant get to the point in a timely manner without digressing so far from the point that my entire point was pointless. Yet here I sit trying to make a point that I am sure makes no sense in the end..

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