Once upon a time in an overly dramatic world…

November 28th, 2006 @ 3:40 pm

I think I am back to the part of this blogging thing where I have nothing to say. One would think staying with my party animal sister would make for some great tales but not so much.

I’ve got about another week here before I return to my mothers ( sigh). Overall, staying with my mother is a total treat – but since she moved it doesn’t feel much like my space and I am out in the fricking country where it’s not uncommon to look out your window and see a line of cows walking up the road. That and there is no high speed, I haven’t had dial up since 1997 and I will not being going back. All my porn surfing, torrent downloading and blog surfing will come to a stop until I am reunited with a broadband modem.

I applied to go back to school the end of January late last week. I have no idea whether I will be accepted or not - or even if I will go back ( options, I guess). I am just so damn sick of sitting still, having no structure and no place of my own. It was my choice two years ago to walk away from my job and hang with my ma. I don’t regret a single moment of it, out of it came better relationships with four people. At this point in my life I just need some direction before I lose it. (:

The Grown up survey!

November 26th, 2006 @ 3:05 am

Meant to be completed by ADULTS (defined as graduating high school at least three years ago!).

Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids?

‘Have you ever kissed someone?’
‘Told someone you loved them?’
‘Drank alcohol?’

Here are some questions for the people who are a little more mature.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
The only one I have to pay? sears.

2. What’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
In bed. (:

3. Last time you puked from drinking?
October 22nd.

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
I have never danced on a bar. I know it’s hard to believe.. but i havent.

5. Name of your 2nd grade teacher?
Hmm. Mrs Mitchell..

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
snuggling.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
a vet.

8. Do you feel old yet?
For the most part no. However my little aches and pains make me feel old.

9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
it’s comfy and doesnt make me feel like a cow.

10. GAS PRICES First thought?
Glad i dont drive.

11. If you could be anywhere right now and take someone with you…Who & where?
*sigh* Somewhere warm with Jay.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Actually the phone woke me and I grumbled to myself at how loud it was.

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
i need to stop thinking about stuff so much before I give myself an ulcer.

14. What chore do you despise?
Vacuuming

15. If you didn’t have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery?
Nope.

stop the clock!

November 21st, 2006 @ 4:02 pm

If I have said it once I have said it too many times. Time passes too quickly and it’s only in the moments where I stop to think that it scares me. Yesterday over-all was a good day though by mid afternoon I had realized something. A year ago yesterday Fraser died. I cant even begin to express how sad this year has been without him and know that he’s been gone that long is troubling. I know time flies but some days it scares me – one day I will wake up and I’ll be 60 ( maybe – if I live that long (: Heck maybe I’ll be alone then, too).

dark and worry wartish

November 20th, 2006 @ 4:31 pm

During a conversation last weekend someone said I had changed, that I seemed darker and quieter. I am not a big talker; I would rather sit and observe the conversation than be a huge part of it. I don’t believe i am darker but I could almost agree that I am quieter but I seem to have a lot to think about these days – parts of me pulling in different directions.

I think part of me changed over the last little while. I never used to be a worrier but for whatever reason everything worries me now. It can be something huge or something little. I have always felt life is too crazy and quick to worry about the little things but now it’s a constant worry. Currently while staying with my sister everything worries me, I dread not being the perfect houseguest. I cant imagine having the label of bad houseguest and this stigma attached me. Call me crazy but I’d like to keep up the delusion that I am an easy going person and even easier to live with.

Back to blogging - for how long? I dont know.

November 19th, 2006 @ 5:02 pm

It’s been over 7 weeks since i have had anything to say. I’m still not sure i have anything i wish to share currently. Life is as good as it usually gets.
Returning to my life in Canada after being in Oregon for three months was tough and still is. Routines i developed there still seem to get integrated in my life here. Waking up alone sucks, lack of physical and verbal contact over the last two and half weeks haven’t been easy but i am trying to keep busy or else i get myself into a depressed state.
Right now I am in New Brunswick hanging out with my crippled sister ( no offense to cripples but she has a broken foot). I am doing the nanny thing for a friend of hers - after all Christmas doesnt pay for itself.
In the meantime i am tempted to go find a full time job in my line of work now that there are more opportunities at my doorstep. Not doing anything for the last couple years is really starting to bother me. Granted i dont need a lot to survive on. However I miss the structure and being able to take care of myself. Somewhere along this journey I lost track of me and i need to find some focus before i go crazy.