Shh. it’s survey time

September 29th, 2005 @ 8:15 pm

1.Name someone with the same birthday as you?
My step sister and my friend Martha.

2. Where/when was your first kiss?
I was in my rec-room. I think I was 13.

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property?
nope

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Yes I have.

5. Have you ever sang in front of a large number of people?
i did karaoke once. Does that count?

6. What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite/same sex?
Teeth.. eyes..

7. All-expenses-paid vacation to anywhere in the world. Where would you go? I used to think Thailand but not I think I’d rather go to the Netherlands or Germany.

8. What do you usually order from Dagny’s?
well if i have ever heard of it so I don’t know really know.

9. What is your biggest mistake?
There have been a couple.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
Yes.

11. How do you feel about rollercoaster’s? I like them but as I have gotten older my tummy doesn’t care much for them anymore.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Maybe Marcie from Charlie Brown *smirk*

13. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
I love Disney and dreamworks.

14. Did you have braces?
No – my teeth are pretty great all on their own.

15. Are you comfortable with your height?
Me and my height are okay. Though if my parents had of given me a couple more inches I’d be okay with that, too.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite/same sex has done for you?
I think that would be my 28th birthday.

17. When do you know it’s love?
I think you have this light bubbly feeling in your tummy..

18. Do you know any other languages?
A wee bit of French.

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
I have.

20. What magazines do you read?
Mostly just cosmo.

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
Nope.

22. Has anyone you were really close with passed away?
They have.

23. Do you watch MTV?
Not really.

24. What’s something that really annoys you?
When people don’t push their chairs in or lay oven mite on top of the stove.

25. What’s something you really like?
I really like porn. .. and animals.. just not together. (:

26. Do you like Michael Jackson’s music?
I don’t mind it.

27. Can you dance?
I can. Can I dance well? No.

28. What’s the longest/latest you have ever stayed up?
I think the longest I have stayed up is about 36-38 hours straight.

29. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
No but there have been times I wanted to honestly die.

30. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
Nope.

31. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
I sure do. I love looking at other peoples answers.

Someone stop the clock

September 29th, 2005 @ 1:38 am

I am not sure where the last three days have gone. Usually I spend a good amount of time sitting here but not the last three days. I am little shocked that tomorrow is Thursday, not that I care whether it’s Thursday, Sunday or Friday these days.

I have been helping my mother with a little side job she’s been doing. Plus today I did a resume up for her. Besides that I think I may have spent too many hours in front of the TV.

Over the last three or four years I have noticed that time seems to go so much quicker than it did when I was younger. I’ve known Jay for nearly 8 years. I’ve been apart from Rob for 2 and ½ years. I have been off work since the end of January and I am just not sure where the last six months of my life have gone.

I had this disturbing conversation with someone yesterday that ended up keeping me and my mind up late racing. It was like this dose of reality that I really didn’t need this week. I’m not sure where this is going other than time flies whether or not you are having fun.

to the one i love

September 25th, 2005 @ 10:06 am

I wish I was as good with words as he is – but here goes.

Happy Birthday to one of the most amazing people I have ever met. On this very day last year he was on a plane on his birthday coming to make my family realize that even though I met him online he is not looking to kill me ( right now anyway) or is some freakish weirdo.

As I predicted they adored him, just as I do. I am sure if you have had the pleasure of joke or a private conversation with him you feel the same way. Then again he also has this knack for driving you crazy and pushing your buttons. No matter which side you see of him he’s extraordinary.

There is rarely a day that goes by that I am not thankful for him in my life. He’s been the person who has held me in his hands and kept me sane in the toughest times over the last six years. He’s given me courage and encouragement to do things and be things that I wouldn’t have been able to do /be without his reassurance. He’s forgiven me for things I don’t think I could have forgiven. He’s taught me that I can put my faith in someone and trust them with the fragile pieces of me. He’s had patience for me in my crazy metal phases and loved the most pathetic pieces of me that I rarely share. Most of all he showed me how easy it is to love someone more than I thought possible. Thank you for being my best friend and the favorite part of my days for all these years.

Happy Birthday Jay

I love you the mostest.

In my next lifetime

September 23rd, 2005 @ 4:59 am

I am going to be born with warm feet. I am not one of those people who you sleep with and they give off tons of heat. I am completely the opposite, my feet are always cold along with the rest of me. I’m either too cold or too hot – there is no in between. I wonder if they make electric slippers.

It’s not been a good day. I cant sleep and my mind is racing. I am feeling emotional, lonely and struggling with staying upbeat. Some days are just so much harder than others. Ugh.

A cryptic reminder to myself.

September 22nd, 2005 @ 12:11 am

At the time it happened I was sorry. Remorse has never been something I let myself feel often. I don’t do things without a lot of thought and somehow I didn’t think this time. I did feel bad, I never wanted to hurt anyone and for once in my life I said “The heck with it – I’ll deal with it later”.

So .. You got that I felt bad but not nearly as bad as I should have? Today as I was doing something I know I shouldn’t do – but I do it anyway. What is that you might ask? It’s going through old letters, emails, archives, anything in a written or voice recorded fashion. Sometimes it makes me melt, sometimes it reminds me I am better off, sometimes it shows me how far I have come and sometimes it shows me how wrong and sorry I should have been.

That’s what happened today, I always go about this habit of mine is a nonchalant kind way – thinking I have nothing better to do right now, let’s play a reminiscing game. Only I ended up crying my eyes out. I cried about hurting someone and cried for them not for me – it was an odd feeling. Somewhere in there I got it, I was able to put myself in their place and realized of all the things I have thought long and hard about I really really should have put more thought into this one.. I am so very sorry for this and I am sorry it took me so long to realize how wrong I really was.

Next Page »