whine time

November 27th, 2004 @ 1:54 am

I’m still battling my cold but add to that being tired and cranky. I haven’t slept more than two hours at a time in the last four days which has made me cranky.

For whatever reason I am not having a good week – I just feel out of place.

I have this tightness in my chest, I am not sure whether it’s anxiety / tension / stress or I am getting ready to have a heart attack / stroke.. But it’s been there for the last three days.

Then add to that the events that are unfolding at work and I am wondering why people bother. I have pretty much decided that I will be leaving work at the end of January, unless of course something unexpected happens. I had hoped to make it through these last few months without watching anyone die. It’s not going to happen that way, though. No matter how many times I go through this it never gets any easier. I think what bothers me the most is I have spent over two years looking after this person, keeping them healthy, happy and clean. Now I get to watch them wither away to nothing. It breaks my heart that death doesn’t come easy for so many people.

As I sat by herself bedside last night with only the sound of her labored breathing to keep me company I wondered … If people know they are going to end up in this state why do we even bother?. You come into this world fragile and your fate is in the hands of another. You then learn to survive on your own only to have all that independence taken away from you and in the end you leave this world the same way you came in.

The lights might not really be on…

November 25th, 2004 @ 6:49 pm

So you have this friend, she lost her license some years back for being under the influence of an illegal drug. She goes the last number of years without one.

Eventually she decides she’s going to go through the process of getting them back. This includes taking so many hours of a course with Addiction Services.. and paying a fine.

She gets in her car and drives to the course. At the end of it she goes to start her car and finds that she’s left her lights on, the battery is dead.

What does she do? She goes back into the building where she just took the course.. and asks the instructor if she can give her a boost.

The instructor says she cant do that.. and my friend is stumped as to why she would say that..

Is it wrong that I find complete humor in this?

Oompa Loompa Doompadee Doo

November 24th, 2004 @ 4:27 pm

Well, my back feels much better but I have developed a head cold. My sinuses feel like they might just implode.

Other than that.. life goes on.. even though I cant follow directions. (:

Oh and its one month until Christmas Eve. UGH

It’s time for a new body…

November 21st, 2004 @ 4:34 am

I think I pulled something lifting a resident Thursday. Friday I had an ache in my lower back but I just brushed it off.. Thinking it was something else.

Well come this morning it hurt to move. Lets hope a couple days off heal me.

AND

Tomorrow is two weeks without cigarettes. I have it beat. (:

GAH

November 19th, 2004 @ 1:52 pm

Sometimes work just sucks all the goodness out of me.

Old people are energy suckers. I swear.. I go to work in a good mood come home in a cranky one.