Well I got two interesting surprises tonight.

One being that Rob has visited my site. So either he didn’t read it or he’s not going to say anything to me? The thing that gets me is he visited yesterday which was the day after my insulting post that I never did take down! I can’t believe it - I don’t know whether to be relieved or worried. My biggest concern about opening up on here is that he’ll read something that may hurt him in some way. So when I seen ‘microsoft.com’ as one of my visitors yesterday my first thought was it was him, but as I looked into it - it said the visitor was from the pacific coast. So as I was sitting here tonight checking my referrals I mentioned it to him and he causally says “Oh, that was me” I think I almost fell off my chair, but I managed to sit here without making it seem like a big deal that he had been there.

So anyway, my point now is that I finally got to a point where I felt safe leaving a post about him there and the next day he visits. Dear God I can’t win, so do I continue to express myself or just go back to talking about meaningless things.

And my other is I am the aortal link for smattering. Which is a total surprise to me. (:

With all that said I had planned to vent about something but maybe I’ll just stew on it for a little while. I feel all shy and little now. Eeeps.

listening to : Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes

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Take the What

animal best portrays your sexual appetite?? Quiz

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I haven’t done a survey in ages, so I got one from Geek Mystique who got it via someone else. She also has a beautiful new layout.

What will I be when I grow up?: something better than I am now, I hope.

Will I get married?: Maybe.

Who is my best friend?: Online – Jay/Bren - Offline – Amanda/Crystal.

Do I remind myself of any characters on TV?: Kitty off that 70’s show? *snort*

Am I physically ugly, average, decent, good-looking, beautiful, hot?: I am okay looking, I guess.

Would anyone ever kiss me?: They have - but I need more love.

Does anyone have a crush on me?: I think.

Do I wish I were closer to someone?: Yes. It’d be wonderful.

Out of all the shades of pink, which one is your favorite? Plum, of course.

What hair products do you use? Shampoo, Conditioner, and some gel or mouse.

What makes you feel most girly-airhead?: when I get sappy.

Bra or no bra?: Bra. I need all the help with my cleavage I can get.

Do you think you’re fat?: I don’t think I’m fat, but I could stand to be a little smaller.

Do you and your friends actually have ’slumber parties’?: No, not now. Up until I was 18 I did though.

Are you ticklish on your sides?: Only ticklish in one spot and it’s not my sides.

Do you take advantage of being a girl to get free stuff?: Hell Yeah.

What do you think of getting pregnant?: I want babies ):

If you could spend a night with have a jam with 5 musical artists, who would they be?: I am lucky I can turn the stereo on let alone ‘jam’

Name a song or concert that moved you to tears?: Everything makes me cry - But one song that brings me to tears is Lifehouse, Storm.

What is your favorite soundtrack?: Dirty Dancing, I guess.

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I am disgusted with my life, myself and most of all the person I live with today. It’s not often that all three of those come together - so when they do it makes for a terrible mood. I can’t stand being belittled, talked to like I am a child, being ‘yelled’ at and swore at all becuaee your life didn’t go as you planned. If you’re not happy leave - I won’t stop you, god knows I didn’t last time. Each day like this just adds up and soon it will be more than I care to deal with.

And with that one little paragraph I feel I’ve said too much and may just remove it later. I can’t seem to show the contempt I have for him without feeling incredibly guilty. There are few people I have/will discuss this with and eventually it gets too much to handle.

So I think I’ll cruise some porn, bath and go to bed before I pack a bag and head out of town for awhile.

listening to : Enya - Sail Away

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