bevie-dot-net » 2001

Bren and I took some photos last night, much like …

June 29th, 2001 @ 8:27 am

Bren and I took some photos last night, much like her I haven’t decided what to do with them, but if you REALLY want to see them either let me know or go looking.

Even though I managed to spend more time than I usually do with Jay I miss him a lot today.

I also miss Colene’s writing so I hope so gets her page back up soon.

I crawled in bed last night about 8pm, because I was tired and had a terrible sinus headache. I watched Spin City as I drifted off.

When Rob came home he crawled in next to me, he always feels the need to have complete conversations with me as I sleep or while I am talking on the phone. Depending on how into it I am - I get totally annoyed with him. I love the fact that he snuggles up to me and talks to me, but couldn’t he pick a better time to do this?

I guess Corey came over last night for a puff; I slept through that too – thank God. Although when he did come to bed at 12:30- 12:45 am that’s all I could smell KECK. I slept nicely till about 3am, at that pointed I wanted so badly to get up. I managed to stay in bed till 5am when I had to pee so badly my feet ached. I did go back to bed till 8 am, which was about an hour ago.

I had this wonderful/sad dream last night -

It starts off with us on a bus coming home and the bus breaks down. Now there’s two buses so most of us can get on the second bus and carry on home, but this person doesn’t want to. So they decide to stay in a ‘hotel’ for the night, not waiting to leave them and wanting to spend extra time with them I offer to stay too.

We’re lying on the bed talking about how this company has closed various rooms down and things like that. Being the person I am I have wriggled my way as close as possible to them.

The dream is told from their perspective but I am hearing it as it is told. They’re lying on the bed with their head up by the pillows and I am the opposite way with mine down by the bottom of the bed – watching TV. We have a conversation regarding children and after it’s over I hear the narrator saying, “ I know it’s not a possibility but some how talking about it makes me want to make it a possibility. At this point I am closer than I should be. Suddenly they realize they should call home, so as the sit there and talk about why they’re not coming home I am lying on my belly watching them, thinking they are just amazing. I am not hearing what the person says on the other end yet what the narrator is telling me. It makes me sad, but I can’t remember exactly what was said.

Through the whole thing I know exactly what’s going threw their head – which is what I long for.

It develops a little more, but it’s stuff I don’t feel cozy writing about.

I just felt the need to write this one down…

I am feeling extremely loving today.

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I took a few silly pictures of my new hair color. …

June 28th, 2001 @ 12:08 pm

I took a few silly pictures of my new hair color. It’s a lovely shade of orange. *L. Nah, it’s a light strawberry blonde. I think I’ll add a couple to the pictures page soon.

I also figured instead of doing a desktop page thingie. I’d just take out “Music” from my now section and add current desktop or something to that effect

I have a job interview tomorrow at 2:30 I wasn’t going to mention it – I hate mentioning things then if I don’t get it/do it I feel the need to explain myself, but oh well. It’s part time, which is perfect if I go back to school. And I am not sure how I feel about the actual hours (5am-9am) but they make it so I’d have my evenings off. I guess we’ll wait and see.

I also think I may mess with a new menu concept this afternoon, so you may see a new one up.. Or you may not.

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I was up early this morning, Seven AM to exact; ev…

June 27th, 2001 @ 3:17 am

I was up early this morning, Seven AM to exact; everyone else didn’t get out of bed till dinnertime. I was so bored and I was trying to make very little noise. - I dyed my hair tonight – I wanted red but I got talked into blonde. I am such a dork.

Melanie is going home tomorrow I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. I am happy to see her go because she did little things that shouldn’t have annoyed me but they did. Like she left the toaster plugged in, didn’t close the bathroom shower curtain when done showering/bathing, didn’t put the toilet seat lid down, didn’t put wires away when done with them, etc, etc. I know these seem like meaningless little things but I have worked hard to get Rob to do certain things a certain way – now having another person not do them is aggravating. Like after three weeks I finally got Rob to turn the cup on the bathroom sink upside down so if there is any water left it drains. —Okay, I know, you don’t have to say it, I will “ I am a FREAK”– I’m kind of sad that Melanie is leaving though, I miss spending time with people who’ll do things that I enjoy.

I have felt really loved the past two days, I think it has to do with feeling needed and wanted. Which I rarely feel, I guess the more physical attention I receive the better off I feel.

I had started this up expecting a very open and emotional blog, but somewhere between then and now I always lose my nerve. I find it so hard to let people know exactly what I am really thinking. I wish I were more open in that way.